if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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