I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
