She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
