Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
