u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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