I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
