I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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