The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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