I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
