I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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