So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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