I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
high people should be assigned attendants
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
