Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
