the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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