So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
there is glitter all over my balls
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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