4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
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... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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