Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
