I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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