so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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