Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
