I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
