Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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