Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
