Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
