In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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