trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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