He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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