Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
