i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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