she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
