I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
did i just pee glitter
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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