Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
