You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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