Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm really busy with my period
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