Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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