would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize