Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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