can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
