And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
