I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
