trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize