if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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