Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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