Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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