I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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