scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
