I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
