How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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