okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
