I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
