yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
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do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
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He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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