dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
