I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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