We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
