My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
