I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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