mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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