My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize