reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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