You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
