Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
