You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize