I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
