I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
