opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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