using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
