you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
