I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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